Talk to Me (2022)

 ☆ ☆ ☆ ½

Talk to Me (2022) – D. Philippou & M. Philippou

Not for the squeamish.  Australian horror film with high concept premise: when you hold the severed hand of a dead medium and utter the title phrase, horrible spirits from limbo are able to enter and control your body.  The film’s teen protagonists treat this experience as a sort of party drug (and clearly that’s the central metaphor here) with the same sort of unpredictable (and often dire) outcomes. Often unbelievably tense – and bloody – and perhaps veering toward the torture porn films that I’ve successfully avoided (i.e., Saw franchise). Sophie Wilde plays Mia, the unstable girl who has recently lost her mother and who gets sucked into the world of the severed hand.  She’s more-or-less adopted by the central family here, headed by single mum (?), Miranda Otto. Although the film falters a bit in its final act (messing with us about what is or is not real), things mostly stay coherent as we hurtle to the inevitable final scene.  Great premise though.

 

Marlowe (2022)

 ☆ ☆ ½

Marlowe (2022) – N. Jordan

As a film noir aficionado, I just couldn’t ignore this latest attempt to revive the genre, especially as it is set in the true noir period (1940s/50s), rather than positioned as a modern day neo-noir (although some of these can be brilliant). Liam Neeson is the latest to don the (gum)shoes of Philip Marlowe, the hard-boiled private detective protagonist of Raymond Chandler’s best works (The Big Sleep, Farewell My Lovely, The Long Goodbye), succeeding Humphrey Bogart, Dick Powell, Robert Montgomery, and more recently James Garner, Elliott Gould, and Robert Mitchum. Indeed, Neeson’s portrayal most resembles that of Mitchum who played Marlowe in a pair of 1970s reboots as an older, tired version of the private eye, nearly washed up, and not the wry and witty smart-arse of Bogart or Powell. This might be too generous to Neeson, however, and it might be more accurate to say that he is miscast here. Neil Jordan’s film also resembles those Mitchum vehicles (directed by Dick Richards) by playing things fairly straight (with only a few spare jokes about Christopher Marlowe that might make you hope for a pastiche). But alas what began promisingly as an homage to a treasured genre soon settled into the turgid form of the made-for-TV movie (notwithstanding the presence of Jessica Lange, Diane Kruger, Alan Cumming and especially Danny Huston who drift in and out like so many well-paid guest stars), finally imploding in a corner while viewers ponder what they came here for.

 

Fourteen Hours (1951)

 ☆ ☆ ☆ ½

Fourteen Hours (1951) – H. Hathaway

Still working through my film noir watchlist and feeling surprised that this “small film” about a man threatening to jump from the 16^th floor of a Manhattan hotel is actually more of a big budget thriller than the quickie B-movie I had assumed it to be.  Veteran director Henry Hathaway keeps things moving even as most of the action takes place out on the narrow ledge where charismatic lug Paul Douglas tries to talk skittish Richard Basehart back into his room.  Screenwriters John Paxton and Joel Sayre succeed by sticking to reality – the cops try every rational solution to lure Basehart in (or grab him), including bringing in his estranged parents (Agnes Moorehead and Robert Keith) and recently dumped girlfriend (Barbara Bel Geddes) to encourage him to choose life (and to give audience’s more of his backstory and motivation).  A few subplots featuring members of the huge crowd down below (including Grace Kelly in her first film) show how people reflect on the value of their own lives in the face of such a dark spectacle. But as slick as this is, you can’t escape the bitter noir under-taste.

 

Death on the Nile (1978)

 ☆ ☆ ☆

Death on the Nile (1978) – J. Guillerman

I watched the first of the Kenneth Branagh Agatha Christie adaptations and that was enough for me (tell me if I am wrong).  But taking a sickie today, I decided to watch an older Christie adaptation starring Peter Ustinov as Hercule Poirot, with the late ‘70s version of an all-star cast (David Niven, Bette Davis, Mia Farrow, Angela Lansbury, George Kennedy, Maggie Smith, Olivia Hussey, Jack Warden, Jon Finch, Jane Birkin). Whether I had seen this back in the day (on TV surely) doesn’t quite matter since I couldn’t remember the plot.  As always, everyone has a motive to kill Linnet Ridgeway (Lois Chiles) and, by the end, Poirot will gather all of them (well the survivors anyway) into one room to announce the actual killer.  This time, the suspects are all on a cruise down the Nile after beginning the film at the Sphinx and the Pyramids (seemingly shot on location).  As directed by John Guillerman, it is by-the-numbers murder mystery fare – and that’s all you need on a sick day.

 

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)

 ☆ ☆ ☆

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) – J. F. Daley & J. Goldstein

I played D&D with friends in the early ‘80s and then encouraged my kids to play (with me as Dungeon Master) over the last few years, though never quite fanatically in either era. So, although we approached the film with trepidation (as one must when you smell that “new franchise” smell), we were also curious.  As it turns out, the film is not bad – a fun fantasy epic full of references to the game (is that a “gelatinous cube”?) and with a plot that contains enough drama (emotional and physical) to hold one’s attention.  But it doesn’t really attain full lift-off and this could be because: 1) we’ve lost patience with the full CGI treatment, wondering openly whether all backdrops were really greenscreens; 2) I personally have had it with the wisecracking hero, played this time by Chris Pine; 3) at 129 minutes, the film feels bloated and, at times, indulgent.  These drawbacks are compensated by many enjoyable moments (such as fighting the fat CGI dragon, wicked Hugh Grant, the bit with the bird man, the hither-thither magic portal, and more).  So, things do balance out, more or less.  I understand that this was not a box-office success, so perhaps that’s it for the franchise.

 

November (2017)

 ☆ ☆ ☆ ½

November (2017) – R. Sarnet

In search of folk horror (an eerie subgenre focused on the supernatural and pagan beliefs/rituals), I stumbled across this Estonian concoction.  Lensed in beautiful rich black & white by Mart Taniel, the film has the look and feel of a Béla Tarr production (although not nearly so slow). In other words, we are in Eastern Europe in the 18^th century, dealing with many peasants (well cast for their seedy looks), who believe in magic, witchcraft, dealings with the Devil and the like – which all turns out to be true, treated as matter-of-fact.  Indeed, the film opens with shots of a “kratt” which appears to be a bunch of inanimate tools that are somehow animated, serving as a slave for a local farmer.  That farmer is the father of the main character, Liina (Rea Lest), who has fallen in love with Hans (Jörgen Liik) who in turn has fallen for the daughter of the local Baron (held in contempt by most locals due to his German origins). Although you could argue that Liina’s pursuit of Hans is the central thread of the plot, the film meanders casually through all sorts of rituals and folk horror episodes – overall, it has the flavour of a fairy tale (romantic and mysterious).  Worth a look just for the visual presentation alone but also if you want to dream along with the story.  Directed by Rainer Sarnet whose latest film seems to be an Estonian Heavy Metal Kung Fu Comedy.

 

Cocaine Bear (2023)

 ☆ ☆ ½

Cocaine Bear (2023) – E. Banks

Well, the title says it all.  More comedy than horror – although there is plenty of gross-out gore – based on the ridiculous effects of the title drug on the (CGI) animal that eats it (after it is dropped from a plane in a smuggling operation gone wrong).  This was Ray Liotta’s last film and he doesn’t actually make a fool of himself, he’s the head drug dealer played straight (so to speak), not for laughs.  Director Elizabeth Banks (an actress in her own right but not in this film) keeps things moving briskly, as the drug dealers seek to find the missing drugs in a national park (“Blood Mountain”) in Georgia USA, and the plot holds together pretty well across the 90 minutes (unlike other “exploitation” films).  I suppose we might draw some parallels between mom Keri Russell searching for her lost daughter and the protective mother bear looking after her cubs, but it would be a stretch to search this movie for themes.  That said, the man vs. nature plot line (with nature out of control) might allude to the world’s climate emergency and our inability to cope with it but then we’ve really gone too far. Much like the bear in this film.